The GBC
by JTheGoblinKing
Summary: The Goblin Broadcasting Company


Disclaimer: The following is an old Labyrinth fan fiction I wrote for a Labyrinth fan fiction group years. Labyrinth belongs to Henson. Most, if not all, of the Labyrinth fan fiction I am going to post here is at least ten years old, if not older. You will see the original dates they were written placed into these documents. These fan fictions predate the canon of Return to Labyrinth.

To: ., .

Subject: [labyfic] The GBC presents....

From:

Date: Sat, 16 Sep 2000 21:26:01 EDT

The GBC:

What would happen if Goblins were to form their own television network.

The daily schedule listing for The Goblin Broadcasting Corporation:

12:00 AM: A re-airing of the television classic: The Blunder years (A

television drama about coming of age in The Goblin City during the early

reign of Jareth, before the rule about not urinating in public fountains was

installed. The series starred now veteran dwarf actor/ subversive, Hoggle I.

P. Freely.)

1:00 AM: Queen of the land fill (A lovely animated program for the entire

goblin family. It is about the mad antics of a humble goblin and her family.

Staring Agnes The Junk Lady as Agnes the Junk Lady.)

1:30 AM: Fragol Rock: (An imported television program "borrowed' from

Earth. English to goblin gibberish subtexts, and or dub ins are provided by

C.C. The Close carnage system on most standard goblin television receiver

boxes.)

2:00: AM: Fungiroma: (A comedic animated program about a low brow goblin

that wakes up in a distopian future world made entirely out of foot fungus.

The goblin inevitably eats the fungus. (This program is due for cancellation.)

2:30 AM: The late night David Bowie feature: (A various David Bowie film

other then Labyrinth, and for this reason Jareth does not allow it to air

during the day.): Tonight's feature: The man who fell to Earth: (The

unedited version.): (David Bowie stars as a dazed person from some other

world, with bulging green eyes, vertical irises, no genitalia, and is

completely balled. The character seems to start to go mad and becomes an

alcoholic, lots of gratuitous sexual content, a scene of Candy Clark,

(portraying a hillbilly) urinate on herself, and a lovely sequence of David

shouting at a wall of television sets to leave his mind alone. The film has

a depressing ending and it's a personal favourite of the goblin community.

This GBC staff member would point out that this is based on a classic science

fiction novel by the late Walter Tevis but most of our viewers are illiterate

anyway. Goblin critic, Gewburt gives this film two claws up.

5:00 AM: The Church of Jareth early mass: Where all righteous goblins

kneel down and pray to their King, patron saint, saviour, God, master, ruler,

keeper, idol, fearless leader, great giver, royal majesty ... (Oh, please, we

all know Jareth's forcing us to watch this crap.)

7: 00 AM: The wished away watch: (An hour long program to keep a look out

on any mortal potentially plotting on wishing away a small child.)

8:00 AM: All my goblins (A day time drama about the trials and tribulations

of being a part of a large, extended goblin family.)

9:00 AM: As The Underground turns: (A very similar show to All my goblins.

In fact it is the same exact show but the goblins have such short attention

spans we felt that it was necessary to air it again.

10:00 AM: Cooking with Sludge: (A program for the goblin chef) This

week's episode: Cooking brown stuff in brown sauce.

10:30 AM: Who's line is it anyway? (That show can't be much worse then it

already is)

11:00 AM: Slob and Hogwart: (An animated program about living in monotony

in today's Goblin City.)

11:30 AM: Two back to back episodes of Absolutely Disgusting: (Premise: A

young goblin prince watches in utter disgust and anguish at the immature and

pathetic actions of his poorly aging father, in his attempt to seduce a

mortal girl.) * Even though this particular program is quite popular, against

the will of this station, a certain "government official" is having this

particular series replaced soon with a new "The Church of Jareth midday

mass." * The heads of this network advise you to videotape episodes while

it is still legal to do so.

12:30 PM: Midday feature: EVERY DAY: Labyrinth : (The provider of this

listing feels that it is unnecessary to name a description for to not know

what "Labyrinth" is, is blasphemous.

2:30 PM: The Faery tale corner: (A children's spot of shows focussed around

modern problems and situations. Sadly, since most of these stories come from

Earth, they often have prejudice and or tragic endings for the goblin

"protagonists") This week's feature The Princess and The Goblins.

3:45: Tea time chat with the little blue worm and the misses.

4:30 PM: Pokemon: (Another imported show from Earth, but miraculously, it's

already in Goblin Gibberish and needs not to be translated.)

5:00 PM: Total regurgitation Live: (Either a request program for David

Bowie music video clips or recordings of goblins vomiting. Often it is hard

to tell the difference or one is induced by the other.)

6:00 PM: Grime Time News: The news and gossip of The Underground, often

revolving around His majesty's crotch.

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The opinions of the GBC do not reflect those of this listian.

To: ., .

Subject: [labyfic] The GBC Presents... (Part 2)

From:

Date: Sat, 16 Sep 2000 21:34:21 EDT

5:00 PM: Total regurgitation Live: (Either a request program for David

Bowie music video clips or recordings of goblins vomiting. Often it is hard

to tell the difference or one is induced by the other.)

6:00 PM: Grime Time News: The news and gossip of The Underground, often

revolving around His majesty's crotch.

7:00 PM: Hoggle improvement: (Somehow everyday Jareth finds some reason or

another to dangle Hoggle over The Bog of Eternal stench, and this is often

recorded by the GBC.)

7:30 PM: The Stench End: (A drama about the class of goblins made to live

near to The Bog of Eternal Stench.)

8:00 PM: The Wise man speaks. (The wise man gives us all a look at true

wisdom, giving a witty and long, and insightful lesson on life.)

8:01 PM: A GBC Sports presentation: (Whatever The fire gang happens to be up

to.)

10:00 PM: Goblin infomercials. (Today a new invention directly imported

from Earth has come to The Underground.) Deodorant. (No one appears to WANT

to buy it in goblin stores.)

11:00 PM: A special on the wonders of Plastic hosted by Hoggle.

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The opinions of the GBC do not reflect those of this listian.


End file.
